Elephants and Thorns in the Church, Part Two: The Pain We Can't Ignore - When what hurts most becomes what heals most

Photo by Vedant Agrawal on Unsplash

The Thorns We Tolerate

We’ve named the elephants, but now we turn our attention to the thorns—the subtle, persistent pains that drain life and hope. Unlike elephants, thorns don’t stomp across the room. They don’t demand immediate attention. They grow quietly, almost imperceptibly, and yet they choke joy, unity, and vitality.

Thorns appear in many forms.

• Personal burnout: long hours of ministry, constant decision-making, emotional labor with little reprieve. The fatigue seeps into prayer, preaching, and pastoral care. Sometimes we carry it quietly, not wanting anyone to notice.

• Leadership fatigue: the weight of guiding others through conflict, unspoken tensions, and unmet expectations. Even with strategies and plans, the weariness can settle into our bones.

• Corporate wounds: unresolved divisions, lingering offenses, unmet expectations, or chronic criticism that never finds resolution. These thorns drain the spirit of the community.

• Spiritual dryness: a sense of God being distant, prayers unanswered, or faith feeling small.

Thorns are tricky because they often feel normal. They are the background noise of ministry that we accept as inevitable. We accommodate them instead of addressing them. But the longer we tolerate thorns, the more they impede the fruitfulness of our lives and the life of the church.

The Biblical Anchor: Paul’s Thorn in the Flesh

Paul knew thorns intimately. In 2 Corinthians 12:7–10 (NLT) he writes:

“So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”

Paul’s thorn was real. Persistent. Painful. And he prayed for relief. But God didn’t remove it. Instead, God offered grace that met him within the weakness, teaching him that dependence on God produces a deeper strength than self-sufficiency ever could.

This is not a prescription for suffering or resignation. It’s an invitation to recognize that thorns can be spiritual touchpoints—places where God meets us in our weakness, equips us with humility, and draws us closer to Him.

The Human Tendency to Escape Pain

We want relief, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But often, instead of facing thorns, we:

• Distract ourselves: endless tasks, meetings, or programs

• Blame others: pointing fingers instead of taking responsibility

• Suppress discomfort: pretending everything is fine while we grow cynical or exhausted

• Overcompensate: trying to prove ourselves by working harder or controlling outcomes

All of these are ways to avoid the quiet, difficult work of tending the thorn. Yet avoidance only allows the thorn to grow stronger.

In both personal leadership and the organizational life of the church, avoidance becomes a hidden pattern that quietly erodes authenticity, trust, and spiritual health.

The Chaplain’s Insight: Presence Over Fixing

In chaplaincy, we’ve learned that presence is more powerful than solutions. Sometimes the most transformative act is not to remove the thorn but to sit with it in humility and attention.

We learn to:

• Acknowledge the pain, naming it without judgment

• Witness the struggle without rushing to “solve” it

• Offer grace without minimizing the reality of the burden

This is true for leaders and for congregations. A pastor may feel the weight of staff tension, church division, or personal fatigue. A congregation may carry disappointment, grief, or spiritual dryness. The invitation is not to fix it immediately but to hold it faithfully.

Jesus modeled this for us. He didn’t avoid grief. He wept with friends. He lingered with the broken. He endured the pain of the cross not just for redemption, but as an example of God’s intimate presence in suffering.

Organizational Health and the Thorn

Church systems can either hide or tend the thorns.

• Hiding thorns looks like overprogramming to distract from conflict, suppressing difficult conversations, or prioritizing appearances over authenticity.

• Tending thorns looks like creating spaces for lament, practicing transparency in leadership, and allowing feedback and dialogue without fear of reprisal.

Healthy systems model the presence of grace in the midst of weakness. They acknowledge that suffering, division, and fatigue are inevitable in human community—but that how we respond can either poison the soil or nurture growth.

Grace in the Thorn

Paul’s words remind us:

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”

This is radical. We don’t have to be strong in ourselves. We don’t have to fix every hurt or solve every problem. We are invited into a rhythm of reliance, where God’s power flows through our weakness, and His presence transforms what would otherwise drain or destroy.

Thorns can become gateways for:

• Spiritual humility: recognizing we cannot carry it alone

• Deeper empathy: understanding the burdens of others

• Authentic leadership: guiding with presence and vulnerability instead of pride

• Community resilience: cultivating a culture where honesty and grace coexist

When we stop fighting the thorn and start tending it with God’s help, we create fertile ground for growth.

Steps Toward Healing

Here are some practical movements for tending thorns personally and corporately:

1. Notice the thorn.
   Reflect quietly: where do we feel persistent pain, fatigue, or tension? Identify both personal and organizational thorns.

2. Sit with the discomfort.
   Practice presence without rushing to fix. Listen to what God and others may be saying through the struggle.

3. Invite grace into the space.
   Ask God to meet the weakness with His strength, to transform burden into blessing.

4. Create structures for tending.
   Small groups, leadership debriefs, and safe spaces for honest conversation can prevent thorns from choking growth.

5. Pray collectively.
   Lament, confess, and intercede together. Pain shared in a community of grace becomes a source of connection rather than isolation.

6. Reflect regularly.
   Journaling, spiritual direction, and contemplative practices help us track patterns and see where growth emerges.

Guided Prayer and Reflection

Scripture:
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
—Psalm 34:18 (NLT)

Reflection Questions:

• What thorns are pressing against our hearts and our community right now?

• Where have we tried to escape or ignore pain instead of tending it?

• How might God be inviting us to rely on His grace in the midst of these thorns?

• What practical steps can we take to address both personal and collective fatigue or hurt?

Prayer:

Lord, we bring the thorns before You—the fatigue we carry, the tensions we avoid, the wounds we have tried to hide.
Meet us in our weakness. Show us where Your grace is enough.
Teach us to sit with what hurts without despairing, to tend what challenges us without fear, and to love those around us faithfully.
Heal the hidden pains of our hearts and of our church.
Let our struggles become places of presence, learning, and connection.
In Jesus’ name, amen.

May we walk gently among the thorns, attentive to God’s presence.
May we lead and serve with honesty, humility, and patience.
May we hold our pain, our fatigue, and our divisions in grace, knowing that even the smallest acts of faithful tending bring life, hope, and renewal to our communities.

We do not face these thorns alone. God’s Spirit is near, and together we can tend what is fragile, weary, and wounded—so that life and love can flourish again.